A Study In Salad: How To Be A Moose By Dean Winchester
by sammy-is-a-sassquatch
Summary: A bodyswap occurs between Dean and Sam during rocky times. Will this bring the boys closer or push them further apart? Set in Season 5 and between "Fallen Idols" and "I Believe the Children Are Our Future". DISCLAIMER- I don't own Supernatural.


As the '67 black Impala sped down route 35 towards Georgetown Texas, all that could be heard from the inside of the car was a familiar argument brewing between the Winchesters along with the recognisable guitar solo of Sweet Child O' Mine. "Come on Sam, you need to relax a little bit. You're acting like a prude" chided Dean with his eyes fixed to the road and foot firm on the accelerator. Here was a situation which had been played out many times in the Winchester's lives. Mainly it had been provoked by being in the same environment for so long. It was inevitable that they would come to this argument again. "Just cause I'm not banging every girl in sight does not make me a prude, Dean" Sam sighed realising that yes they were getting into this argument another time. "Dude the leather in this car gets more ass then you do. You're ruining the Winchester name, Sammy" whined Dean lifting his eyes off the road to see how much that statement had pissed off Sam. When he saw that it had hit its mark Dean grinned then waited for the obvious retaliation.

"One, don't call me Sammy, it's Sam. Two, concentrate on the road or else we're gonna end up in a car crash...again. Three, just cause you banged some confused angel does not mean you have to brag about it. Personally I don't wanna hear about your sex life" He dryly said with an eye roll to top it off. "Whoa Sam we all know that accident wasn't my fault, plus it was nearly four years ago. Come on let it go. Plus what happened with Anna happened ages ago. I gotta admit though for an angel she did commit to some unholy things" Dean remarked with a wink perfectly designed to irritate Sam. With that Dean could see out off the corner of his eyes that Sam was shooting him one of his special bitchfaces. He also speculated that if Sam's eyes could shoot lasers then they probably would be melting his face off right now. "I'm not in the mood for this Dean" groaned Sam shifting his body in the seat. "Ugh this is taking forever Dean, can we just get there?" He grumbled. "Quit your PMSing Sammy, I'm getting us there as quick as I can" Dean said. "Just check the case again if it will stop your nagging". "Yeah, yeah" Sam crankily droned pulling the file out to leaf through. It was gonna be a long drive ahead.

As they entered the sleazy motel room that they had booked for the night, the smell of mould, peeling wallpaper and old cigarettes hit their nostrils and could only be described as purely vulgar. "Ugh smells like one of your old girlfriends" Dean teased not noticing that Sam hadn't said anything since they had pulled into this run down place. "Leave it now, Dean" Sam sharply said not caring for what the repercussions would be. He promptly plopped down on the bed closest to the disgusting thing that could only be called their en suite and pulled out his laptop, eyes unwavering from the screen. "Fine screw this, I'm going for a drink" Dean sighed after dumping his bag onto the other one of the stained beds. He just had to hope that odd stain was coffee. Sam knew he wasn't gonna see his brother until he stumbled in at three in the morning, pissed and having brewed something up with some nameless blonde. He wished he could have said something as Dean was going out the door, apologised for being so snappy but no words tumbled out of his mouth. He knew exactly why he was on edge and why Dean kept trying to listen the situation with his jokes but he could change it. He could change everything. All he had to do was keep Lucifer out and everything would be fine. What a simple task, keeping out Satan so he wouldn't destroy the world in your body. It all just gets too much. The weight on his shoulders and the weight on Deans shoulders as well. That was why he was gonna sleep some of the pain off in the bed. He closed the laptop and got ready for bed. Maybe a full eight-hour sleep is what he needed.

Sam awoke to the sound of light snoring coming from the other bed. His eyes fluttered open as he lapsed into a state of hypnotic half awakened bliss, where in which he was oblivious to the current events of last night. The room shouldn't be this breezy, should it? He slipped his feet off of the bed as his body felt tense and cramped as if he had been alert all night. That was weird. He should be relaxed and calm after sleeping and not as if he was just about to go on a hunt. He stood up and realised that the whole room looked as if it had been moved 3 inches closer to the ground. That was just trippy. He must have slept for long than he should have. That was obviously the answer, wasn't it? It had to be. He reached up to stretch his armed and realised why he thought the room was a bit breezy. His hair. Or more to the point the lack of hair. "Goddamn it Dean" he sighed as he realised that the drunken bastard had probably cut his hair in a fit of intoxication. Well it wasn't fucking funny. He liked his hair the way it was and some drunken ass had decided to cut it.

He stumbled over to the messy en suite to check how bad his brother had butchered his scalp. He wiped down the grubby mirror and stopped dead in his tracks. Those weren't his eyes. How could they not be his fucking eyes. _Oh god what the fuck is happening_ Sam thought as he completely started to panic. "Those are Dean's eyes, how are those Dean's eyes" Sam screeched as he heard the voice that came out his mouth or rather Dean's mouth. It was deeper than Sam's and much more husky as he realised that he had also heard it a million times. He had heard it teasing him in Dean's usual way of calling him a girl or telling him he needed his hair cut. He checked the mirror again to make sure he wasn't going insane. Sure enough apple green eyes stared back at him with a trickle of freckles dusted all over his/Dean's nose. He could see a 2 day stubble growing across he face when Sam knew for sure that he had shaved this morning before setting off. "No no no no no" Sam babbled in Dean's voice which freaked him out even more. He noticed that if he wanted to keep his sanity during this affair then he should shut up until he worked out what had happened. He was in Dean's body and that meant that more than likely Dean would be in his. Now he knew why everything seemed off and why he was so tense. Why didn't he notice before when he woke up? Ugh he couldn't wait till all this freaky Friday shit was over. Then it hit him. He was going to have to wake Dean up and convince him he wasn't a monster and even for then he was going to have to face Dean in his body. This was way too weird even for them. As he attempted to turn round his nose fitted slap bang into the barrel of one of Dean's shotguns. Before he could even attempt to explain what had even happened he heard his own voice call from the other side of the gun. The man who was currently in Sam's body spat out one sentence and looked fuming as well as trigger happy. " What the fuck are you and what the fuck have you done with my brother."


End file.
